The Savvy Boomer

Lest We Forget

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada.  We can never forget those who died for Canada as well as those who served.  Click on the link below to see portraits of all the Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan in the last year.

We don't need no stinkin' corkscrews

It used to be that if you bought a bottle of wine with a screw top, you were a wino.  Now I really don't like buying any wine with a cork.  So what happens if you buy a bottle of wine and find out it has a cork and you don't have a corkscrew handy?  Leave it to the French to solve the problem.  Actually, this could come in handy one day.

Vancouver Olympics manage to piss off several thousand, probably a few million

You'd think that the VANOC folks would expect a few hundred thousand hits on their servers when they put the final 2010 Vancouver winter Olympics tickets on sale this morning.  They failed, finally cancelling the sales for a week because of technical problems.  This Olympics has a budget of a few billion and they can't get something simple like online ticket sales right?  In the typical cavalier manner they have adopted to run these games, they didn't really even apologize for THE 4 HOURS I WASTED TRYING TO GET INTO THE WEBSITE.  Perhaps they knew I am leaving during the games because Vancouver is going to turn into a parking lot for 2 weeks and I really just wanted to scalp them like most everyone else who lives in Vancouver.

The sordid evidence of what the Vancouver Sun called the EPIC FAIL:

 

  

I thought I was getting somewhere here but the 1995 type web page below didn't give me much confidence.

  

  

The message below was a real piss off because it was up for a few hours and if you clicked on it, the page just re-loaded

 

This was the BS they posted on Twitter-nice apology

 

Hey restaurant servers-Want a bigger tip?

I would love to find a restaurant that had this list of rules for their staff.  This  is posted on the New York Times website.

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.

6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.

7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.

11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.

12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.

13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.

14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.

15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”

16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait. 

18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”

19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.

20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.

21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.

22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.

23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.

24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.

25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.

26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.

27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.

28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.

29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.

30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.

31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.

32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.

33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.

34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.

35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.

36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.

37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.

38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”

40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.     

42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.

43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.

44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.

45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.

46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.

47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.

48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.

49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.

50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.

Snabbo addresses time warp for boomers?

Mark at Going Like Sixty sent me an email about a new baby boomer site Snabbo.  I figured he must have been looking at an old site because after all the Facebook type boomer sites that have failed, no one could seriously start another-could they?  Yeah, Snabbo, feels they could.  A message on their site claims:

On Snabbo, baby boomers can have a 'face book' experience--only with the same 'face' they had in their heyday."

I don't really have anything to say that I haven't already said for the last couple of years about Boomer sites like this other than "Good luck with that business model."

British Columbia finally bans cellphones when driving

I was driving out of a parking garage tonight when a car coming in oblivious to the fact that there was an in and out divider, came in on the out route.  You guessed it, the female driver was yakking away on a cell phone.   After a middle finger salute, I gave her a few more choice words but since she was the mother of one of my ESL students, I doubt she understood what I said.

A few minutes later, I was following another moron driving 1/2 the posted limit. Yup, texting on his cell phone.  Middle finger, horn and a few more choice words that rhyme with f+_(%^ing azzhole.

So when I got home and watched the news, I was overjoyed to see that B.C. has finally entered the 21st century and decided to ban cell phone usage when driving.

Sure, it will be difficult to enforce but I can't wait to take a picture of someone using a cellphone while driving.  Oh wait a minute, that too may be illegal.  Ahh, it'll be worth the expression on their face trying to cover up their criminal activity when they see my cell phone camera.

It's about time this provincial government that I'm ashamed to admit I voted for finally got something right.

How many retired celebrities turned it down until Florence Henderson said yes?

Floclub is a support site dedicated to older computer users.  This is going to go the way of all those social networking sites that decided there was a big and profitable market dedicated to boomers and seniors.  Don't they get it?  We can use the dozens of already existing online support sites if we want.  Why do we need a site dedicated to "older" users?  I read nothing on their website that makes them unique from other similar services.  For $250 a year:

"The FloH Club can help you do any and all of the following:

• Communicate with friends and loved ones using e-mail, instant messaging, videoconferencing, or Facebook
• Set up a device that connects to your computer, such as a printer, scanner, digital camera, or MP3 player
• Clean up and tune up your system so it is virus-free and performing at its best
• Back up your files so you don't lose important data
• Make purchases safely on the Internet
• Check financial news online
• Much, much more!"

Damn!!  I don't know anyone who can't already do most of this and if they don't know, that's what family is for.  And do they really think Florence Henderson is going to reel them in?  I have nothing against Florence- she seems like a sweet 75 year old lady but am I missing something about her star appeal?  Glad they didn't get Chuck Norris or we'd all be wearing these.

 

Happy Thanksgiving if you're a Canadian

Today, being the 2nd Monday in October is Thanksgiving day in Canada.  It is very similar to US Thanksgiving in that it is usually a time for friends and families to get together and celebrate with a turkey or ham dinner. 

It seems that Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday season of the year in the US but Christmas takes that title in Canada as most Canadians take a whole week off then. The first Canadian Thanksgiving was held in 1578 and eventually was declared a national holiday held in early November.  However that was changed to the October date in the 1950s when Remembrance Day was declared a national holiday on November 11.  No matter when you celebrate this festive occasion, I hope you have lots to give thanks for and if you do, share some of it with those who don't.